Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
