she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
