You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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