Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
