Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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