Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
