Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize