my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
