so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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