the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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