i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
