I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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