guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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