apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
