Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You may now shotgun with the bride
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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