the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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