so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize