i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize