Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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