he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
