I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
pop tarts are not kleenex
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
