I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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