I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
