did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
