walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
