you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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