yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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