It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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