A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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