Pants 0. Shit 1.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can I color on your dick again?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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