you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
