ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
