with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
