so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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