he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
