is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
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I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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