swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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