a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
