but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
