I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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