my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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