suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
