i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
