Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
