He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
