in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
