was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
