either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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