you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
