Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
