Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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