it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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