I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
