The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
