Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
