erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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